We often say “Yes”, led by misunderstood sense of guilt or duty, when we really want to say “No”. Remember how a friend insisted of taking you to a place where you don’t want to go, or how a neighbor of yours is constantly asking you to borrow them some money, which they never return, or how you missed your lunch break in order to do someone else’s job, or how your colleagues and bosses delegated you a whole bunch of tasks beyond your responsibilities knowing that you will accept, etc. The list is literally endless.
So, at some point you don’t even notice how you start acting according to the expectations of the others without taking into account your own needs. Be honest with yourself and confess the fact that although you have promised thousands of time to say “No”, somehow you always fail to pronounce this little word and end up saying “Yes, of course” once again. This makes you suffer silently and blame the others because they constantly want something from you, or even worse – you blame yourselves for not being able to defend your own needs and desires.
The inability of saying “No” provokes deep internal conflicts, especially when it comes to our job. And struggling between thoughts such as “I must do this, I must do that…” and your own pursuit of happiness leaves you unsatisfied and angry.
The art of saying “No” at our workplace
You have too much work and too little time to do it. There are piles of papers and files on your desk waiting to be reviewed; you have several appointments; you have about ten e-mails waiting for a reply and you are also expecting an important phone call. And exactly at that moment, your boss comes and asks you if you can do a presentation for tomorrow morning.
And now, you have every right of saying “No”, no matter that it is your boss who is asking you. It is normal to be a little confused when wondering how to refuse them and that is the reason we decided to help you with a few ideas that will help you do that without putting an end to your career.
Of course, your answer should not sound like “Leave me alone, I have work to do” or “Off you now, there is no way I do that”. On the contrary, be very calm and polite when saying “No” and explaining the reason for your refusal. And the reason is only one – you have a lot of work to do and if you take some more, you won’t be able to finish all of your tasks the way you are supposed to do it.
Ask your boss for their opinion
People love to be asked for their opinion, because this makes them feel important. So, ask your boss which tasks they find most important for the day. Then explain that you can’t accept any more tasks without making any of the old ones suffer, and suggest that you sit down together and decide which task is a priority and which is not. This attitude will help you show your boss that it is essential for you to do your job well.
Ask for understanding
Explain calmly and clearly how much and what kind of work you have right now. Do not complain about it and do not ask for pity, because this is not your goal. Your goal is to show your boss that you take your work tasks seriously and do not want to shuffle through them.
Make a suggestion
If you already know that one of your colleagues would like to take the new assignment up, make a suggestion to your boss, after thanking them for the attention that they had thought of you first. However, be careful not to point at someone, who would not like to take the new task, because this may end up pretty badly by complicating your relationship with your colleagues.
Realize that there is nothing scary about saying “No” at your workplace
It is true that there are employers who look as if they would not take “No” for an answer. However, this doesn’t mean that you are obliged to accept every task they give you and overburden yourself with work. If you have to refuse an assignment, do it carefully and respectfully and do not turn refusals to a permanent behavior. Only this way you will make your boss and colleagues understand that if you say “No”, there is a reason for that.
If don’t loose your composure & remain calm in extreme situations you can easily say NO! And the other person in most cases will understand you as you have handled the situation smartly